Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in
Author: Roger Fisher Date Read: Jan/2018
A good book on negotiation. Helped me put different negotiation perspectives into my mind and create a non conventional approach. I still think that most of a negotiation is personal charisma, body language and interpersonal intelligence, and the book makes almost no point to that.
- Positional bargaining is inefficient and often leads nowhere.
- Positional bargaining happens when two parties are locked into positions.
- Classic example is bargaining for discount on a shop (I want $50. The most i’ll pay is $25.), and so on.
Principled negotiation is much more effective on generating deals that are good for both parties.
Principled negotiation relies on:
- Separating people from the problem. You don’t attack someone over their position. They are always reasonable, and the fault or the problem is not them, but focus on the problem that there is to be sorted out. (If someone is late paying the rent, you may say: Oh, I know you just forgot to pay this month, there must be a lot going on, you are super busy! [separated the problem from the person. it’s not their fault. they are not defensive about this] But I really…)
- Focusing on interests, not positions. Never assume someone’s interest over their position. Always dig deeper on what is the underlying necessity of that person and understand why they are attached to an particular outcome.
- Invent options to mutual gain. After you know someone’s interests, not only their position, you can generate other negotiation options that are valuable to both parties. Be inventive about possibilities. Something that may be very valuable to you, may be irrelevant to the other party, and then you can capitalize on that.
- Insist on using objective criteria. Think about Pawn Stars (Oh, you wanna sell me that donut? I’m going to call a friend who is a specialist on donuts..). It’s always easier to negotiate based on some objective criteria, may it be the price of other properties sold in the area, the usual franchise fee calculation or something along that line.
If someone is using dirty tricks, bring it up as something to be solved, but always separating people from the problem.
Great for future reference: